I got a bit tired of Copenhagen friends moaning about the tourists in ‘their’ city so I wrote this for Politiken in response to another writer who had contributed to the mildly xenophobic whining in a column.
You may imagine that the contributors to Politikens Debat meet regularly in the cafes and salons of the capital to discuss the important issues of the day. How I wish. But no.
Of course it is entirely possible that the others do all meet in the salons without telling me, but so far, I have yet to have the pleasure of meeting, for example, the wise and wonderful Ditte Giese, whose columns I read avidly, always nodding quietly to myself in admiration of her common sense and eloquence.
Except for her last column.
Ditte went on a bit of a rant against tourists in Copenhagen, railing, variously, against all those stupid Italians using our bike lanes! The abominable noise of all their wheeled suitcases on the cobbled streets! All those Chinese being Chinese everywhere! Why couldn’t all those foreigners just go somewhere else? Vesterhavet, for example. The Jutlanders are desperate for visitors apparently. Or couldn’t they go glamping in Næstved or something?
But, dear Ditte, Copenhageners like you have spent twenty years telling the world how happy you are, how hyggelige everything is here, and how amazing your food revolution is, you can’t expect the world not to want to experience it for themselves. People as blessed, privileged and fortunate as Copenhageners have got to learn to share their toys!
Of course, many also earn their living from tourists. Not just the nasty rich capitalists who own the hotels and gift shops, but you know, cleaners, caterers, maintainence workers, and delivery drivers. Also, don’t forget those at the very bottom of society: the pick-pockets, beggars, prostitutes and anyone involved with the Hard Rock Café.
Nevertheless, Ditte had suggestions about how she would like to deal with this Biblical plague of foreigners. Mostly she wants to ban stuff: cruise ships, Airbnb, new hotels, visitors in cars, night life. That kind of thing.
But this is still, for now, a free country, with property rights, not 1960s Albania. We all hate cruise ships, but people have a right to holiday on what is basically a floating prison with a buffet, if they so choose. And Copenhageners have a right to let visitors sleep in their spare room to earn the money they desperately need for fastelavnsboller and takeaway coffee.
As for making domestic tourists pay extra for visiting Copenhagen via even more charges on driving? That is morally wrong. It’s their capital city too, you know, even if life has dealt them a tragic hand which means they languish beyond the S-Tog, and the poor things can’t tell their Hart from their Juno.
As I thought back on her article, something else struck me: how remarkable that Ditte has never been a tourist herself. That she has never dragged her suitcase over the cobbles of Paris. Or blocked the pavement outside the Coliseum. Or waited in line for an ice cream on the streets of Malaga. I began to feel sorry for her. The poor woman has never gazed up in awe before the Sagrada Familia or seen the water twinkling in distant Piraeus harbour as she sat beneath the metopes of the Parthenon.
At least, I assume she hasn’t. Because if she has indeed enjoyed a long weekend in Florence, taken a selfie outside Buckingham Palace, or enjoyed the view from the Empire State, then that would… no, it’s unthinkable. Ditte Giese, my fellow Debat columnist would be… I can barely bring myself to write the words, but there is no escaping it, she might be a Copenhagen NIMBY. Just a teeny bit hypocritical.
Ditte came with her solutions to what she perceived as the hideous tourist hoards, so I feel I ought to come with mine. It’s quite simple: Just as Londoners avoid Leicester Square, Buckingham Palace and, Oxford Street; just as Parisians steer clear of the Champs Élysées and the Latin Quarter, and New Yorkers wouldn’t be seen dead in Midtown, perhaps all those grouchy Copenhageners who don’t want to share their city with foreign enthusiasts should get used to avoiding Amalienborg, Strøget and Nyhavn. I understand, it will be a terrible wrench not to be able to visit the Guinness World Records Museum on a daily basis, and I am sure you are going to miss shopping in Louis Vuitton and your regular dinner date at the Hereford Steak House, but there are plenty of other parts of Copenhagen where the tourists never go.
Amager, for instance. Amager is brilliant. It’s got everything you need! Lagkagehuset, a Sticks n Sushi, more than one restaurant and sometimes the Flying Superkids visit!
Better still, declare Amager a nation state and make your own rules. Why not? It’s got an airport, a public broadcaster, lots of sports facilities (probably too many, actually), a hospital and magnificent ethnic diversity. Local resident Frank Hvam could be a benign dictator. Ditte could be Tourism Minister.
Because, like it or not, the tourists are here to stay in central Copenhagen. Even Emily in Paris lives there these days (I assume famous people don’t need to worry about trifling matters like residential permits, property ownership rules etc).
Ditte, you may no longer be surprised that tourists come to Copenhagen but you should still be proud. They are coming because they love it, and they love it because of what the locals have created. Take it as a compliment.